Club Paradise.

It's crazy that all the emotions forgot in a year. She's like, "Why you even give a fuck? You're not even here."

Lost.

I don't know what I want..
Time is essence.

Who am I?

Why do things end up like this over and over? I can't get over you but i'm not even sure if I want to. You're honestly my drug. I wish I could spend every minute of the day with you. I don't know how you feel about me though. I've hurt you enough to where I would understand your guards being up. I just wish you knew if I had one more chance with you, I would cherish it more than anything. I'm not brave enough to let you know these things because i'm afraid of rejection but I can't continue to let myself feel like this and you not know. Please give me a sign. Once that is done, every single feeling I have towards you would come spilling out of me. You're my first love. I could go on and on with this but I think i'll stop now.. *06/29/10

Done.

I realize that relationships only lead to hurt. So, you're going to have to be ready to marry me or be Angelina Jolie before I even take you on a date.

Feel Love

"When I was young, played them. Junior High, played them. High School, well, you know, played them. How me and my friends used to laugh about it, how we fade them, now Cupid's aiming his aarow right back at me. How more nonchalant could I be, with you here staring at me, with the most beautiful eyes that a nigga ever seen. You're pulling emotional vibes on my soul, look at me. You've got my heart beating like my back was filled with batteries. It's the first time I'm feel love."

Ok, wow.

Oh goodness. The situations I get myself into. Three girls. Two are the ones fighting my heart the most. The third one has potential but it's not there completely yet. However, two of these girls happen to be my ex. Any time I get to know another girl or find interest, here you come. I always get that one message that just keeps me involved with you. I hate getting messages from you. It's like you know the perfect shit to say that fucks up my whole day; I thought that all these feelings went away. However, I still text you back saying I miss you too. You know where my heart is and you make it a slight point to make it seem like you're interested, but I just never know. You have a guy who tells you he loves you and you tell me you don't say it back and that you guys aren't dating. I don't know if that's giving me an oppurtunity to move in and make something happen or if I am supposed to keep us as friends until a later time. I want it now to be honest. As for my most recent ex, you tell me time after time you are in love with me. Over and over and over again I hear it, and I love to hear it. You and I have the best time in the world together and when I kiss you, everything just disappears. I know how you are when it comes to flirting with other guys and you hold on to your past just as much as I do with Emily. I know that I can't be mad there, because I do the same. You also have a guy. You tell me you are in love with me while you are around him though. So, obviously you are being honest with your feelings. I can't wait to see you today. The question I'm asking myself is who would I want to see more? Is that question even possible to answer? Now, for the girl I'm talking to now, we have awesome conversations and we get along great. Buttttt,,, we have the middle school awkward stage that everyone has.... IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. I haven't dealt with that in a loong time. I would back out of this easily right now, but guess what? We had to kiss and make it harder on me. That's all I have to say as of right now.

Whew.

Whoa. I thought it sucked to have no girls interested or any "love" life but now that it is hitting me out of nowhere, it's so much to deal with. I am stuck in one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to deal with. I say this to her and this to her and then this to her. What am I doing? I don't have a clue. I like this one soo much and then I see the other one and the amount is attraction is almost equal. Lord, give me a sign. I don't have another option.